Have you ever felt it—that quiet whisper, or maybe a persistent hum, telling you that your life isn’t meant to follow the conventional script? That feeling that the milestones everyone else seems to be chasing just don’t quite fit your soul? During my twenties, I found myself navigating a world that seemed to operate on a universal timeline, ticking off achievements like clockwork. But my clock, well, it was always a little off. And you know what? I’ve come to realize that’s not just okay, it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. This life is your canvas, and you are the artist, free to paint your journey exactly how you envision it.

This post isn’t about fitting in; it’s about breaking free. It’s for anyone who has ever worried they’re “behind,” or who feels that undeniable pull to forge their own unique path. You see, when that instinct to do things differently stirs within you, it’s more than just a whim—it’s a call to honor your truest self. Others might offer well-meaning warnings or express doubts, often from a place of protection. But remember, this isn’t their journey; it’s yours. Their limitations don’t dictate your potential. You get to choose what your journey looks like, every step of the way.

And if you’re currently in a “waiting season,” a period where progress feels slow or uncertain, hold on. There’s a profound purpose in these moments, and the deepest desires of your heart were placed there for a reason. Don’t give up hope. Your unconventional milestones are just as valid, and often, far more meaningful, because they are authentically you.

This post is loaded with some good life stories and lessons, so my hope is that this helps someone who’s also in a stage in life that needs hope, or inspiration, or confidence to forge their own path. This is for you.

Took Seven Years to Graduate College

Because I earned two bachelor’s degrees. I’d started college studying business but a few years in, I decided I wanted a change. I felt a pull to go back to what I’d originally wanted to do in high school, studying interior design and architecture.

But I was so close to earning a bachelor’s degree in business, so I finished that degree and immediately started classes towards a second bachelor’s in civil engineering (not exactly design and architecture, but it was available at the campus I was attending and only took two more years instead of an additional five).

At the time, a part of me felt like a big loser because my friends had graduated and were out working and enjoying life while I was still stuck in college, away from home and studying for really hard engineering classes. I also knew that earning two bachelor’s degrees was an accomplishment, and finishing both was something that paid off for me in the long run.

Waited to Get Married

I wanted to find the right partner who had similar values and saw our lives going in similar directions.

I took my time getting to know myself (more on that in my conventional post) so that I truly knew what I wanted, like that traveling as a family was important, that being a multilingual family was important, having our own business was important, etc.

This waiting season was hard for me. I know it’s hard for a lot of people, I see it every day in my social feeds. Hang in there.

For a few years in my early twenties while I watched my friends get married and start families, I got lonely and sad. But I noticed that my friends started feeling like they envied my freedom, and I realized, everything is about perspective, so I decided to change mine.

I looked at my “loneliness” as an opportunity for freedom, to pursue things in my life that I might not feel I would have the time to pursue once I became a mom and had kids.

That shift in my perspective changed so much in my life.

I took a lot of chances, pursued a lot of different things (like starting a business, moving across the country, traveling solo, even skydiving (!!), and changing careers), and I got so used to my freedom that when I met my husband, I almost didn’t want to give it up!

Choosing to get married meant freedom just looked different, and that freedom could be pursued together. And that’s what I truly wanted in my life–someone to share life with.

Waited to Have Kids

This goes with waiting to get married, but I learned a lot from watching the relationships around me during my “waiting” season.

It became important to me to find a partner who truly wanted to be a dad, shared family as a strong value, and shared similar desires for our family.

Hear me when I say, it was well worth the wait.

I had my first baby when I was thirty-six years old, which, in the medical world, is considered a “geriatric pregnancy” (WILD, right?!).

I do wish I had met my husband sooner and we’d had kids in our twenties, but I know God has a perfect plan for us.

Just before meeting my husband, I was about to pursue having my eggs frozen because I didn’t know if I was going to meet the right man and have a chance to have babies naturally.

I share all of this because if any of this is resonating with you, even if you’re just thirty years old (which is when *I* started worrying if I would ever have a family), I just hope this story brings you hope.

Keep praying, and in the waiting season, do things that are fulfilling for you. Cross off some bucket list items. Start learning a new language, take dance classes, make a travel bucket list and start traveling (even if it’s just a short road trip for a long weekend), take up new hobbies of things you’ve always wanted to learn — those are just a few of the things I did.

Maybe having kids isn’t even on your bucket list and that’s ok too. You get to choose what feels right for you.

Started a Business

This is much more common these days than it used to be. According to the US Dept of Treasury, entrepreneurship continues to surge with 50% more new business applications in 2024 than in 2019. That said, a lot of people have no interest in running their own business because of the perks of having a job (like company-provided health insurance and a steady paycheck).

In my opinion, neither choice is right or wrong; it’s just a matter of what you want and are willing to pursue.

Anyway, my entrepreneurship journey started as a hobby.

After I graduated from college and seemed to have a lot more free time on my hands after work, I got bored. I started picking up new hobbies and learning skills I’d always wanted to learn. I went into my let’s-make-everything-from-scratch phase (back in 2015!).

Recipes, crocheted hats and scarves, DIY home projects, bars of soap, lip balm, skin moisturizers — you name it, I made it. I even dragged my mom down this fun little DIY spiral with me.

(FUN FACT: to this day, I still make all my own soaps, including my husband’s and daughter’s!)

My Pinterest boards were FULL of project ideas that I crossed off one by one.

With all of those homemade crafts filling up my home, I decided to start selling them at craft fairs.

And then I picked up a camera so I could take professional pictures of them to sell online.

And then I wanted to take better pictures.

And then I wanted to take the kinds of pictures of people that made you go “oOoOoOoh that’s so pretty! 😍” talking about themselves. Feeling amazing about themselves in photos.

And so began my photography career and entrepreneurship journey.

Became an Artist as a Profession

Remember when you’re little and they ask you what you want to be when you grow up, and when you say you want to color, they say something about how you’ll never make any money as an artist? …just me? 😅 I was once that little kid who LOVED art and coloring and painting and drawing.

At the end of it all, I’m just really proud that I’m happy doing something that I love.

I love being a photographer along with many other interests I’m passionate about, including entrepreneurship.

To this, I say, pursue what lights you up.

We currently live in the kind of world where you can find a way to make a decent living from any interest. That’s the beauty of the internet and the information age.

Traveled on My Own

OK so there are some trips I took on my own and some trips I took with my mom (because she wouldn’t let me go alone, which ended up being a blessing because we made some of the best memories on our trips!).

I just want to say that traveling on your own is SO LIBERATING.

If you’ve never done it and you’re considering it, this is your sign.

Do it.

But be safe about it. For example, do your research on safe neighborhoods, don’t tell people you’re traveling alone, and share your location with some of your closest people.

Before I traveled alone for the first time, I was going through my loneliness phase (see above under Getting Married). Then a friend of mine went on a solo trip to Florida and I was suddenly SO intrigued! I was like…girl, weren’t you scared? Was it weird flying by yourself?

She shared her whole experience with me. She told me how it was so freeing to just do her own thing, go to the beach on her own and do what she wanted, or go to whatever restaurant or bar she felt like.

At the time, I’d been feeling down about wanting to go on trips but not having anyone to go with.

That conversation was meant to happen. It gave me the confidence to take my first solo trip and I have to admit, it was everything she’d said and more.

It felt amazing to hop on a plane and do my own thing.

To get in the rental car and just… drive… windows down, music blaring through the speakers… until you found a destination that spoke to you.

To rent beach bikes and just ride around and let your thoughts run free.

I remember feeling so liberated, that I rode a rental bike around Sanibel Island and belted out “A Million Dreams”, “Rewrite the Stars”, and “This is Me” from the soundtrack of “The Greatest Showman” and I swear to you this was a pivotal moment in my life 😂 😌 Looking back now, I feel a lot of peace about that. That was a really great time in my life.

So if you’re thinking of booking that solo trip, do it.

Moved Away From Home on My Own

This one was hard. I lived ten minutes away from my mom and we’d see each other a few times a week.

I loved that. I loved how close our relationship had grown.

But a conversation with a colleague changed my perspective on life.

For context, I’d already started feeling like I’d outgrown my little hometown. I’d started my photography business and my inner search for a greater purpose in life (more on that in my conventional post), and I was trying to find more where I lived that I just wasn’t finding.

I’d started feeling a pull to leave.

But leaving was scary.

I wouldn’t know anyone.

How would I make friends?

Making friends as an adult is scary for an introvert (IYKYK).

(Spoiler–it’s scary at first, but it can actually be a lot of fun once you get used to it.)

And one day in my twenties, a work colleague that I’d NEVER expected to have a deep kind of conversation with sat down with me and told me a story. I’d told him how I was thinking of moving, but wanted to wait two years until my mom retired so she and I could move together.

He talked about how after he’d graduated college, he found a newspaper ad looking for a roommate and shared an apartment with roommates in a big city until he met his wife and settled down and started a family and he said, “why wait? Don’t wait. If you meet someone here and get married, you’ll never leave.”

He loved his life, but his point was clear, and it was one I’d needed at that moment.

It forced me to realize I didn’t want to get stuck staying where I was and never find out what else I could be, what else was out in the world for me.

Moving away from home on my own felt hard at first, but after taking that absolutely liberating solo trip, I also got a sense it would be very freeing.

And it was.

I needed to take the leap first before all of the outcomes were revealed to me.

You know how they say, you don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step?

That’s how it is with decisions sometimes. You have to trust and have faith that things will be revealed as you take action one step at a time.

It was one of the best decisions I made because it led to a lot of things I’d been pursuing and praying for, like meeting my husband and starting a family.

And if you’re wondering, my mom decided that moving was also in her future, and she bought a home not far from where I’d moved!

Haven’t Purchased a Home Yet

The timing just isn’t right for us yet and we’re 1000% ok with that.

We don’t plan to be typical homeowners. We don’t plan to have the normal debt most people have (more on this and my Dave Ramsey girlfandom in my conventional post). So when we do purchase a home, we’ll do it differently than most.

I started following Dave Ramsey’s plans from Total Money Makeover years ago and it helped me eliminate my debt, so when homeownership aligns with our goals, we’ll make it happen. This is one goal I’m really looking forward to accomplishing, so stay tuned.

OK this ended up being a much longer post than I intended! It just started with a few scribbles of ideas, but then I thought it would be helpful to share my story and thoughts behind how all of these unconventional milestones ended up playing out so maybe you could grab some gold nuggets or find something useful from my personal experiences.

I truly do believe that everyone is on their own journey. I’m so grateful I didn’t give in to the pressure to check off those imaginary conventional boxes when I felt the pressure of them because my life could’ve been so different and maybe not what I ultimately wanted. I love the life I currently have, and the one we’re currently building and becoming.

Waiting can feel hard. Being different can feel hard. Choosing a different path when others are pressuring you or making you feel wrong for it can feel hard. But this is your life and your path and you get to choose it. You get to live it. You get to love it. Shifting your perspective can really make all the difference. You get to write your own rules, find a new beginning, and own your story. This is your journey.

Let’s redefine your timeline. Your unconventional path is perfectly on track. I’m rooting for you.

Talk soon!

Cindi